In America, why is it rude to ask someone how much money they make?
In many countries, it's not considered rude at all and in some, like China, it's perfectly natural. Some would say, it's none of my business, but why is that? It's not like I can do anything to benefit myself at your expense if I know how much money you make. If we routinely asked people in America how much money they made do you think that would help women get equal pay? Does keeping this a taboo subject benefit the average worker or the average executive?
Etiquette - 6 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Without an official class system, we use money as a gauge of worth. When you ask people how much money they make its like asking them how much they are worth and that's uncomfortable. After all in the greater scheme of things a nurse doesn't make all that much, next to say a CEO, but she does more good. But by asking how much she makes, shes aware that her socially perceived worth is much less. Its uncomfortable, and etiquette is all about making people feel comfortable
2 :
That's what I wonder too, why is it? I'm not sure but 'It's like asking how old a lady is or something. Crushing their pride if we ask I guess.
3 :
In America, asking someone how much money they make is seen as a blatant attempt to try to class a person by how much they make, instead of taking someone on their own merits. Telling someone how much you make can only lead to two comments, "Wow!" (as in, "THAT much?!", which is insulting) or "Oh, wow . . ." (that LITTLE? gee, what a loser.) Neither of which contributes to the conversation. :-)
4 :
You might have a point that it could help equal things out if people talked about it more. But talking about it isn't the biggest problem - you're talking about people ASKING each other. It's what you call a personal question - it's one of those areas where people don't demand info. But the problem with it is that it lends itself too easily to society getting in the habit of judging people by what they earn. We have enough of that when we just have vague ideas. It elevates wealth to having too much influence over who is "good enough" to be friends with.
5 :
I'll assume you live in China. It can be rude depending on who you ask and 'how' you ask the question. I may answer the question to some people and not others without any bad feelings either way. My response to someone I do not know well enough would probably be "why would you like to know?" Maybe the question is being asked in a less than private location. I wouldn't want to discuss the matter on a subway train, crowded bus or in a McDonald's, for example. It is also not polite to ask sheep-herders and other agricultural oriented economy cultures in various countries about how many sheep/cows, acres of land do you own for the same reasons stated by other responders. It may be related to personal 'worth' and privacy issues. Also interpreted as 'ego' in some ways, I suppose. Perhaps some Americans find it rude because they are embarrassed by their incomes (being disproportionately inflated or inadequate for their lifestyle or desired lifestyle). For example, if I worked as a barrista because it was the only job i could find and I had 4 children to support, but I had a Baccalaureate degree in accounting but the working market is glutted and not enough jobs available, i would possibly feel badly about this. That is a self-esteem issue. Healthy Self-image, self-esteem and Insecurity issues can play a large role in this topic as well. Perhaps THAT, more than anything else, explains why Americans are reluctant to discuss their incomes openly.
6 :
Well considering etiquette in general is not high on their agenda,its an anomaly. But then why is someones bottom called a fanny in the US.The list is endless.The real answer is Isolation-myopia-and delusional greatness=chaos in thought and action
